The McGreets
Written by John Topping
Directed by Kyle Solorio

What a wonderful premise for this short film which was shot in Los Angeles several years back. Take one of the most famous surrealist painters, Rene Magritte (ah, the inscrutable bowler hat ), and turn his life into a sitcom. Rene (played by writer John Topping) and his wife, Georgette (played by me) get a letter from some very close friends announcing their intention to visit. The friends are nudists, Rene and Georgette are not, but they are very polite, considerate people who want to make their friends comfortable in their home.

Seems he and director Kyle Solorio and writer/lead were in conflict over the final edit and both just walked away from the project. Since then Kyle has passed away and John follows other pursuits. The raw footage is now online. Have a look if you're interested.

Rene and Georgette lead a normal, suburban lifestyle, considering they are Magrittes. The set was filled with details reflecting the surreal perspective of the namesake artist. The face in the wall is not a painting, but a hole in the wall with a man behind it.

Rene and Georgette know that to make their friends comfortable, they should also be nude, but modesty forbids. Therefore, they get sheer body suits to wear. For authenticity's sake, they add hair and other sundry organs to the outside of the body suit. But the doorbell rings earlier than expected. Their guests have arrived and they haven't gotten into the just-delivered body suits yet. In a panic, Rene and Georgette pick up the first body suit they can reach and dress as fast as possible. Unfortunately, they mix up the suits. Rene wears his wife's suit, which includes perky breasts and lots of curly hair over an otherwise smooth crotch. Georgette fines her chest bound in a skin tight suit that does not allow for breasts, but sports manly pecs, and a boastful dildo. There's no time to change, so they just act as if nothing where out of place.

Now, the Magritte's friends are just as considerate as they are. They decide to compromise their nudity by painting clothes on their naked bodies to pass for a stylish gray suit and bowler a la Magritte's signature work, and a pink mini-dress with pearl neckless accessory. Neither couple is gauche enough to comment on the others' sexual mis-identity or see through clothes (upon very close scrutiny). A lovely time was had by all.

The crew didn't know who to stare at more -- the naked people who looked dressed or the dressed people who looked like really perverse naked people. The dildo attached to my suit's crotch was healthy, to say the least. The crew, mostly male, seemed a bit uncomfortable with my very masculine dimensions. I have to admit, I got a rise out of it.

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